My ministry tends to move forward in fits and starts. I think this may be God being kind to me. Too much at one time and I can tend to shut down. Every time I get comfortable and settle in to where I am God opens another door. Since I have promised that when God opens a door I will walk through it that generally means I am about to get uncomfortable. Not one of my favorite things.
My most recent experience with this was joining an online writing group for bloggers who want to make an impact for Christ. I had found out about this group last summer and had waited months to be able to join. The group offers a mountain of information and training in areas that I need to strengthen to make my ministry more effective.
Something that should have been easy took an entire morning and became a huge challenge. The computer was acting up. The credit card for my ministry didn’t work because I had forgotten to activate it. By the time I finally figured out how to set up my profile with a picture it loaded sideways. Profile completed I could not figure out how to post to introduce myself to the group. (Have I mentioned that technology is not one of my strong points?) Three hours after I logged on I finally posted.
During that interminable 3 hours I prayed, I cried in sheer frustration, and I paced around the house talking out loud to myself. I sat with my head in my hands in utter defeat and wept. By the end my hair was literally standing straight up because I had been pulling on it off and on all morning.
I was raised with a pretty healthy self-image and a strong appreciation for the power of the written and spoken word. I found myself saying things I never would have imagined crossing my lips. I’m stupid. I’m too dumb to figure this out. Why did I ever think I could do this? I will never be able to figure out the technology and social media needed to get my message out to a wider audience. Every fear and doubt I have ever had about my ability to do the ministry God has called me to completely overwhelmed me that morning.
On the surface it looked like I had completely over-reacted to what was happening. However, towards the end of that awful morning I finally realized that Satan had found a chink in my armor and had rushed in to take advantage of it. Fear and doubt and beating myself up is not from God. Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Deuteronomy 1:21 & 31:8, Joshua 8:1 & 10:25, I Chronicles 22:13, 28:20 & 32:7 all repeat the same message which must mean it is pretty important.
This ministry is clearly from God and he will give me everything I need when I need it to accomplish what he wants me to do. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
It may be through a resource that will teach me how to do it myself or he may bring someone alongside me who already knows how to do it. My job is to seek his will and answer his call trusting that he will give me what I need when I need it to keep moving forward.
In what area of your life do you feel God’s call? In what areas do you feel unprepared or unqualified to step out of your comfort zone? When fear and doubts overwhelm you weed out the lies that Satan is feeding you and plant the truth of God’s word instead.
Precious Father, Thank you for the challenges that makes us stronger. Thank you for preparing our way in advance to do good works. Help us Lord to be strong & courageous. May we not be afraid or discouraged since you have promised to be with us wherever we go. Amen