“More hurting women, more women seeking me out outside of the workshop to tell me their stories, seek my advice and have me pray with them. “ I wrote that sentence in an email after the first weekend of sharing 50 Shades of White: Biblical Sexuality for Women last September.
I wasn’t prepared for the response before the workshop or after. Some women chose not to attend because they worried that there might be guilt by association - why would SHE go to THAT? Others stayed away because they did not think it pertained to them or anyone they knew. Some single women thought it might be only for married women. The ones who had the courage to walk through the door came for a variety of reasons – personal struggle, curiosity about the topic, a desire to be educated on an important subject, seeking knowledge to help a friend or to safeguard themselves.
Afterwards I was sought out for conversation and prayer about pornography (his and hers), adultery, bisexuality, masturbation, homosexuality, lack of sex in marriage, HIV, sexual abuse and more. There was such a hunger from these women to talk about it, to try to find answers, to have prayer over it. And all I could think is the majority of these women know Christ or are at least regular church attenders. I can't imagine going through any of the things that these women shared with me without the rock of Jesus Christ on which to stand.
I left camp feeling battered, bruised, overwhelmed and incredibly humbled by what these women had shared with me. I cried for the first 30 miles while having an animated conversation with God out loud the entire time. Not dainty little tears that seeped slowly from each eye but more of an all-out bawling that welled up from deep inside and hurt to shed. Anyone driving by me would have thought I was crazy!
The conversation went something like this, "HELP! God I am not prepared for all of this. You are breaking my heart over these women and it HURTS! You are making a pin cushion out of my heart and I don't like it. But I have told you if you open the door I will walk through it. And Lord I am going to choose to thank you for breaking my heart over the things that break yours even though it is hard and it hurts and I don't like it. I'm scared Lord. I feel the crushing weight and responsibility of the position you have placed me in. I need more of you and less of me Lord." And on and on the conversation went for a good 30 miles. (Luckily my guardian angels were watching out for me since I really should have pulled over for this conversation!)
In Galatians 6:2 we are told to “carry one another’s burdens.” What does that look like in your life today? In what area is your heart being broken for the needs of the people around you? My prayer is that you would take time to seek God’s will and ask how you can help to carry another’s burden.