God Is in the Details

I mentioned in my previous post that God broke me free from my porn addiction in a dramatic way in October 2013. What I didn’t mention was my plan to never share my dirty little secret with anyone. Ever notice how our plan is often not the same as God's plan?

Fast forward to April 2014. Scrolling through some email early one morning I noticed a Christian speaker/author was coming to town that I admired. Clicking on the link I realized she was sold out unless you attended a leadership conference for women as well.  Snagging the last few tickets I reached out to some other women I serve with on a leadership team.

We attended together and decided to split up on the workshops to gather as much information as possible. I chose a workshop on BibIical Sexuality and prayed no one I knew would be in attendance. I was longing for information and answers, but scared of what might be shared and how it might affect me.

When the time came I could not get myself to walk through that door as I watched a steady stream of women fill the room. Feeling a spiritual shove from behind I stumbled down the aisle at the last possible minute and found a seat in the front row. Catching my breath, I turned to find myself sitting next to the head of our leadership team. I pulled out my notebook, feigned a nonchalance I did not feel, and began taking notes.

The speaker painted a vivid picture of the tsunami of sexual change overtaking our culture. She spoke of the urgent need for women to rise up and testify to God’s work and healing in this area of their lives. The longer she talked the more convicted I became that she was speaking directly to me.  I began to physically shake as I realized that I was being called to let God’s light shine in a very public way into this very private area of my life.

As the speaker finished I turned to the women next to me, who heads the leadership team, and with tears streaming down my face confessed that I was that woman. And that God was clearing calling me to talk about my experience, addiction and recovery process. And, oh, by the way, could I do it at the fall retreats? Despite the challenging nature of this topic she did not hesitate to say yes.  So much for my plans to lead a workshop on hospitality and entertaining at the fall retreats!

Only God could possibly be in the details of the email buried in my inbox, the last few tickets available for sale, the conference coming to town, the workshop topic, the speaker’s call to witness, the seating arrangements, and the right person next to me at the right time to help get this ministry started. 

My prayer for your today is that you would see where God is working in the details of your life and that you would have the courage to follow where he leads.