The Myth of Having It All

Oprah Winfrey once said, “You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.” As a child of the 80s and a woman who holds a degree in journalism and women’s studies this quote resonates with me. I was taught (and I believed with all my heart) that I had no limits, could be anything I wanted to be and that I could definitely have it all. At 48, I recognize this idea for what it truly is – a myth.

It is not possible to be a perfect wife and mother, have the perfect home and children and be the best in your career all at the same time. At different points you may be one or more of these. But there is not enough of you and there are not enough hours in the day to be all of these at the same time.

As a child of the 80s “having it all” meant a handsome husband, beautiful children, gorgeous home and successful career. Today it means a thriving personal relationship with Christ, a deep and abiding marriage with my husband and raising daughters who strive to love and serve God. The ministry God has called me to and the career where I earn income falls behind my relationship with my God, my husband and my children.

I just returned from the national convention of the direct sales company where I work. Lots of lights and sound and noise designed to motivate to me to grow my business. I found myself conflicted throughout the 3 day event. God is so clearly calling me into ministry but I do not feel He has called me out of my current career. Which leaves me in an uncomfortable place.

I am somewhat of an all or nothing personality. When I do something I want to give it my very best. When I am spread too thin and am unable to do that it frustrates me. I often find myself emotionally splintered between the many things tugging on my life. What I need to remember is that there will be various seasons in my life. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.

My season right now is one of spending time with our remaining daughter before she, too, moves away to college. It is a season of reconnecting with my husband as we realize the empty nest is just around the corner.  It is a season of seeking God as I build a platform for the ministry He has given me and continue my career.

You may be reading this as someone who is single, divorced, or widowed. You may be a stay-at-home mom, a student, or the president of a company. You may be balancing things beautifully or you may be hanging on by your last toenail upside down. Wherever you find yourself today please know that God sees you and that you matter. I really do believe you can have it all. Just not all at once. Seek God and ask what his plans are for your current age and stage of life.

Precious Father – Thank you for seeing us. When we feel unnoticed and unappreciated please help us to remember we matter so much to you that you sacrificed your son on our behalf. Lord, may we seek you earnestly in the paths we follow and the choices we make at every age and at every stage. Amen.