After 18 years in my current career I am retiring on Friday. I have mixed feelings about this. Joy and excitement as I look ahead to what’s next and strive to answer God’s call on my life. Fear and anxiety as I walk away from a growing business and good income with 2 daughters still in college.
On paper, this does not make sense. Logically, the timing feels like it could not be worse. But in my heart, mind and soul we (my husband and I) know this is what God is clearly calling me to do. So, I am gathering up all of my courage (it is taking a lot!), being obedient and stepping out in faith. Trusting that God will provide, trusting Him with our finances, trusting Him with my time, talents, and resources.
The response from family and friends has been overwhelmingly positive, encouraging and supportive. It helps – TREMENDOUSLY – especially on days when I cannot see the path in front of me and begin to doubt or second-guess the decision. It helps when unexpected expenses (new tires, car repair, broken air conditioner) keep popping up and my last paycheck looms near. It helps when I feel overwhelmed with all the details involved in shutting my business down after 18 years.
This day, this retirement, has been 3 years in the making. Although I have been a Bible Study leader, speaker and writer for over 20 years, it has only been since 2015 that I felt the call to full-time ministry. Sometimes God’s call on my life clanged powerfully in my soul and sometimes it was a distant whisper I barely heard, crowded out by a busy schedule and a paralyzing fear of the unknown.
Until one day this spring when we went to a different church to hear one of our daughter’s sing while on tour with her college vocal group. The sermon was “Trusting God with Your Money.” Sitting in the same sermon with my husband I heard “be more disciplined with your tithing.” What my husband heard was “you need an accelerated exit plan for your wife from her current career, so she can pursue ministry full time.” Ever have that experience – where you are listening to the same speaker and hear two totally different things?
An accelerated exit plan means that 60 days later I am retiring to write the book God has placed on my heart, to pursue more speaking opportunities, to hopefully start seminary in the fall, to be open and willing to be used wherever and in whatever way God decides. And yes, to be willing to finally say, “I will do anything Lord. Anything.”
I want to close with something that Lysa TerKeurst, a Christian writer & speaker I particularly enjoy, posted today because it seems fitting:
“What are you having to trust God with right now? Remember . . .
One day at a time. We can’t let fears or worries steal our joy for today.
One prayer at a time. We can’t forget the source for all wisdom, perspective and peace is but a prayer away.
One step of faith at a time. If I am going to call myself a woman of faith, I’m going to have to be willing to live a life that actually requires a little bit of faith.”
Today, dear friend loved by God, I am praying that you move forward one day, one prayer and one step of faith at a time.